So happy!!! o(n.n)o

Alright! So this is the time where I am trying to WRAP my journey!

I love Professor Garb, she told me something that was so enlightening. I feel as if she had very a BRIGHT and approachable way of dealing with students. No wonder she is the Co-Director of the Center for Citizen Peacebuilding.

I want to write this event down while it is fresh in my head.

As I entered Social Science Tower (SST), I felt the coldness of the building. To be honest, ever since I am a student at UCI, I was never fond of the SST building in which it looks so cold and harsh. My experiences of going into the building makes me feel extremely uncomfortable because the Professors that are housed in the building are so intimidating. They are all from TOP NOTCH schools across the country, are researchers for each of the "Centers" that UCI Social Science created, and are very smart people that makes it seem like they would make fun of you if you say something stupid. And for HEAVEN'S SAKE, the SST building is filmed as the CELL JAIL in the movie The Planet of the Ape. The building is THAT intimidating. EWWW.

So I was on the second floor of the SST, and waited for the elevator along with another guy next to me. I pressed the up button, and the elevator came. I was so intimidated to go up and ask her about my recommendation letter. In my mind, all I thought about was, "this is going to be SO awkward... I do not think I am ready to speak to her." I DID NOT take the elevator.. The guy looked at me weirdly because I was waiting for an elevator that have already came. He went inside the elevator and gave me this look in questioning the fact that I have not got on the elevator with him. I QUICKLY FAKED PRESSED the DOWN button in the elevator because the guy looked at me weird and was waiting for me to get in with him. But after I pressed the down button, the guy raised his eyebrow in a manner of the realization that I am not actually going up, but going down. HOWEVER I WAS REALLY REALLY GOING UP... NOT DOWN! I was yelling "OH MY GODDD" in my mind. GAHH

So after my FAKED PRESSED DOWN BUTTON, I then pressed my UP Button again! This time, while waiting for the next elevator to come, I was telling myself, "okay... I have this 2 minute interval to wait for the elevator to come and to QUICKLY think of a topic that I can talk about with Professor Garb!" The elevator finally came, and this time, I was waiting alone. I really REALLY have nothing to talk about! I went into the elevator, with complete BLANK memory.

As the elevator reached to the 5th floor, and the elevators opened, I started to think, "Okay... I do not need to think of something to talk to her about! I have been dealing with people in my mediation intern, and the fact that I IM RANDOM strangers on the internet before... WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL! Just be yourself, because I am the guy with the charm when I am the TRUTH and GENUINE!" I came across her office, and she did not turn on any lights, her room was grey and dark, with shades of blue lights glowing from the computer monitor.

I knocked on her already opened door, and greeted and sat down. It was then when I came into her office that everything CAME IN SO CALM. I talked to her for a bit. About getting letters of recommendations from Professors 2 years ago, and asked about my own recommendation letter from her.

But what REALLY enlightened me was the way she gave a comment to one of my rambles. I said clearly, "When I was doing dispute resolution on the phone, I called the respondents and to my surprise they would actually respond to me. I thought that most of them wouldn't even want to talk to me, because, it is totally voluntary, and WHO AM I to talk to them and about their business!"

She responded with somewhere along with the tangents of: Well, there are things you have to do, like when you are a lawyer, you have to step out of the zone and do things you do not want to do. You focus in what you are TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH, NOT in terms of how things would LOOK. You call your respondents, and that is your job. You focus in that job, and as how things would turn out TO LOOK LIKE, is NOT UNDER YOUR CONTROL and it is NOT a part of your accomplishment!

As for my recommendation letter, she commented, that I HAVE to go get it. And that is MY ASSIGNED JOB. I should not have to think about how things are awkward, or be afraid of asking for one because of what things would TURN OUT TO LOOK LIKE. I have to go get it, and just try to re-establish my connections; and as a mediator, such profession requires a lot of this type of level of communication to fix the gap between the parties.

It felt so GENUINE. I think in this point of my life, I AM VERY GENUINE. I am never so happier and I cannot wait to be the GO-GETTER!